December 3rd, 2007
CcCcC POSTED AT 06:40 PM CONQUERING THE FIRST DAY Joe sent me this Friendster message today: sorry di na kita sinamahan kanina. That actually made me tear up. Sure I was fuming over the incident this morning, but after reading that, who won't melt? And to think I was beginning to believe that he isn't that romantic anymore. Anyway I wasn't able to "do well" today at work. Well not technically. Three of us in the group were pulled out of the orientation to be able to complete our medical exam. In short, they're paying us to have the day off so we can complete our medical exam requirement which only takes, like, an hour. How cool is that?! So for that, and for all these other cool things:
I sooooo love my job already!!! Woohoo!!!! I am king (err...queen) of the wooooorld!!! Tomorrow's another day, though. But I'm feeling mighty fine. Things will be okay. I know it. CHRONIC ENVY There are times when it is almost too painful to check my Friendster account, just because everyone seems so happy. My profile is plastered with happy pictures of friends and former friends and former schoolmates: one is in a swimsuit with her boyfriend; another is sipping what looks like a martini; and yet another is smiling gleefully while holding a balloon (yes, a balloon!). And everytime I fight the urge to check their profiles out, for fear of being consumed by envy. For why do their lives seem so perfect? Where's the drama, where's the unintentional emphatic signal? Martinis, cars, beaches, parties... and all the while here I am, not hard-up and not unhappy, but no martinis. No car. No beaches. No parties. I have so much growing up to do. In retrospect I am enlightened about my sister-in-law's behavior. Perhaps, after more than a decade, she still hasn't made up her mind to grow up. Hence, the no-show for days at home; the gimmicks; the incessant use of the telephone. Yes yes, with three kids ... oh I'd like to strike her with a broomstick! But I pity her, sometimes, because she seems so lost. However, now that I think about it, she isn't lost at all! She knows perfectly where she is, and she know's what she's doing and not doing, and that is what scares me about her. Oh but I confess that sometimes, especially when she goes home with bags and bags of shoes and clothes, and acts like she's eighteen and conquering the world (in her case the worldly world hahaha), I envy her. There I said it. But I made a choice to grow up, and that's what I am going to do. CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN It's 22 days before Christmas, and I'm a bit sad about the fact that I will receive my first paycheck on the 30th. That means there's a good chance Joe and I will have to forego some of our plans - whether that be buying everyone in the extended family presents, or going somewhere nice. Oh, on the other hand, there's really a big chance we won't be able to have a Christmas get-away because it's either I'm working or both of us are. Yes, there's no question that I'll be going to work that day. Poor old me. And here's what's making the whole arrangement worse: I am actually driving myself mad conjuring these images wherein Joe and Ysa are at home hugging everbody else (yes my mother-in-law and sister-in-law-whom-I-don't-like included) and counting down the seconds before Christmas finally arrives and eating Noche Buena with e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y. Not that I'd really like to be a part of that but I would really love to have my husband and my daughter with me when the clock strikes twelve. And I fear that's not going to happen. Listening to: Haley Add a Comment
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December 5th, 2007
FIRST DAY RANT POSTED AT 08:38 AM |
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December 5th, 2007
seeking sleep POSTED AT 02:04 PM I can't sleep. Man, it's so hard to change your body-clock. I have to have sleep; otherwise, I might not be able to perform well at work later. Which brings me to another realization: In retrospect, I am ashamed to admit it, I treated Joe very poorly when he had a graveyard-shift job. I haven't even experienced it and yet I already feel frustrated about the adjustments I have to make. Now I wish I pampered him during that period. Am I going to get through this job? I hope so. Lots of people have, so there's no reason for me not to. Besides, the job pays well. A relatively high basic salary + non-taxable allowance + incentive for getting in a top account + commissions (later on, that is).... I guess it's worth a screwed-up time perspective. Personally, though, I wish I have programming skills and be really computer-savvy like Joe - then graveyard shifts won't be bad at all because a programmer post pays really well.
This isn't connected to my post at all, but I'd love to have a slice of cheesecake right now. Heeehee. |
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December 10th, 2007
update POSTED AT 12:46 PM FIRST WEEK So far my first week at work has been really great. It didn't feel like work at all - I felt like I was attending a class. And although we were forewarned about this week - we'll be having our CST (client specific training), see, and we were told that the trainers are really strict - I am still psyched to go to work. Yes, really. And that is despite a very sore throat (so itchy!). Oh and it's a relief that this week's sched is "normal" - 8am til 5pm. At least Joe and I have the same schedule: We no longer have to put up with seeing each other for just an hour each day. Happy!!!
THE OC Again I chanced upon The OC on ETC this morning and I couldn't help but watch it. I've been an on-and-off The OC fan since I got curious about it back when I still bummed around the house. Today's the final episode of the whole installment, and the bit on Summer and Seth really struck me. See here, Seth and Summer began living with each other when their houses were damaged by an earthquake, and they got so comfortable with each other that they literally let go of themselves: they didn't take regular baths, and weren't interested in anything else but this show entitled 'Briefcase or No Briefcase'. When Seth and his family were deliberating on moving to another state they realized individually that they weren't bringing out the best in each other, and that's not okay. So they decided to let each other go - not in the sense that they broke up - so that they will grow as persons. Summer pursued her passion for the environment, Seth went to another school. All's well that ends well. I've been thinking about this, and I think I should double my effort on letting Joe and I grow individually even though we're happy when we're with each other. I mean, now I see the downside of being together all the time - we tended to mimic each other to the point that we're starting to lose our identities. And that's really not okay. So starting today, I'll try my best not to be so imposing (which I realized I am).
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